


Last Laugh Lane

by aviation



Category: Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: M/M, Short, dont even bother reading tbh, its just shitty writing, matt is the worst wingman, theyre ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 12:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7976392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aviation/pseuds/aviation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't know if I can handle being in the same room as Miles Kane," Alex begins, in an overly serious tone of voice. "To tell the truth, I can hardly handle being on the same planet."</p><p>"Shut up," says Matt, glaring at him before flicking another page in his book.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Laugh Lane

"I don't know if I can handle being in the same room as Miles Kane," Alex begins, in an overly serious tone of voice. "To tell the truth, I can hardly handle being on the same planet."

"Shut up," says Matt, glaring at him before flicking another page in his book.

"I'm serious, yeah? I mean, what if he looks at me with his dark, chocolate eyes and I spontaneously combust? Or what if he flips his perfect hair and I positively melt?"

"That would be tragic indeed," deadpans Matt.

Alex continues. "I can imagine it now. He looks at me and bats his eyelashes, and I just can't handle it, I turn to a pile of ash right there, in fr - "

A book hits him before he can finish.

"Shut the fuck up, oh my god, you haven't even met him!" Matt looks like he's about to kick him.

"Yeah, that's because from the way you speak about him, sounds like I'll die if I ever see hi-" 

Matt shoots him a glare. 

With all due respect, Alex is a bit puzzled on why Matt is so protective of this Miles character. He's heard enough about him. He could probably name all his favourite foods in alphabetical order.

"This is why I'm your only friend," Matt grunts.

"Not true," Alex protests. "There's... er-"

Alex wracks his brains. Matt looks satisfied.

"I rest my case."

"Wait, no, there's... Jamie! There's Jamie," Alex looks incredibly pleased with himself. "Anyway, some friend you are, making me sit around waiting for this oh-so-important Miles. You know, I think there's maybe a bit more than friendship there."

"Don't."

"Yeah, I think - I think you're in love, Matt." 

Matt groans.

"It's okay, it's okay, I'll help you through this. Tragic, really, unrequited love," Alex elaborates. "Although quite the couple you'd be."

"You've never met him!" Matt protests.

"'Miles,'"  He imitates in his best Matt voice. "'Miles, oh yeah, baby,'"

"Oh my God, I'm not even listening-"

"'Yeah, Miles," he says a little louder. "'Yeah, yeah, give it to me you fucking Scouse-'"

"Ahem," someone clears their voice from the doorway. "Am I - is my jacket here?"

Oh shit.

Alex instantly regrets every sarcastic comment he's made about Miles. He's really, really pretty, but not girl pretty, like pretty pretty, and his eyes are indeed incredibly brown, and his fingers are incredibly long, and Alex thinks he may have jinxed himself because he maybe is melting a bit right now.

Matt's face lights up.

"Yes, Miles, it is," he says smugly. "This is Alex."

"Hi?" Miles tries. His expression is unreadable.

"Hello," Alex says miserably. He can't look him in the eye. "Um. Sorry."

"Yeah, um," Miles looks like a deer in headlights. "I - I'll take my jacket, then?" He looks to Matt for help.

"Here you go, Miles," Matt says, and he's grinning, the wicked bastard.

Miles mumbles a thanks and scurries out of the room as fast as possible. 

Matt slides back and sits against the door, and laughs so hard he cries.

-

"While you're at it, get some more crisps, we're running low," Matt says.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it -" Alex grumbles, clicking off his phone and shoving it in his pocket. He's ninety nine percent sure it's in fact Matt's turn to get milk, but he's a good roommate. He doesn't complain.

When he gets to the till, he notices a rack of CDs. One Direction. Made in the AM.

He snorts and picks it up. It's only two quid. He could maybe get it as a joke for Matt. "It's for my girlfriend," he justifies when the cashier gives him a look.

He fully plans on strolling out of Tesco normally and doing absolutely nothing embarrassing on the way, he really does. Unfortunately, this does not happen, and in typical Alex Turner fashion, he trips on literally nothing.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" 

Alex looks up and -

Well fuck me sideways, it's Miles Kane.

"Oh my God," Alex mutters, feeling distraught. 

"Wait, let me get these for you -" He drops to his knees, picking up Alex's groceries. It's all very cliche, and Alex is lost for words.

"Are you okay? Did you hit your head or anything?" He sounds incredibly concerned, and it's incredibly cute.

Alex shakes his head, dazed, and blinks twice.

Miles Kane picks up the CD, then looks at Alex, then at the CD.

"One Direction?"

Alex is incredibly red.

"I mean, I'm not one to judge but - do you actually, you know, like them?"

"Yeah," Alex says flatly. "Love them. Posters all over my walls."

"Really?"

"No!" Alex scowls, sitting up properly. "It were for Matt, a joke gift," he continues hurriedly. 

"Okay. It's just. You spent money on them," Miles Kane doesn't look very convinced.

"Yeah, well. Um. Sorry for the trouble, yeah? I'll just -" 

Alex gets to his feet, grabs the CD and the groceries, then makes a dash for it. He doesn't tell Matt about it. Miles Kane will probably tell Matt about the incident with his One Direction loving stalker later anyway.

-

"Jesus Christ, can you just hook me up with Miles Kane already?" Alex spins in his desk chair and stares at the ceiling.

"No," Matt glares, and leans over to stop the chair spinning with his hand. "And why do you call him Miles Kane, anyway?"

"Because," Alex says, "He's Miles Kane."

"And you're Alex Turner," Matt says. "But I just call you Alex."

"Miles Kane is just too important to be called by his first name," Alex replies sarcastically. "I'll call him what I like."

"Yeah, okay," Matt says, sounding amused.

"I will! Watch me. Miles Kane, Miles Kane, Miles Kane, Miles Kane," Matt glares at Alex again.

"Shut up."

Alex gets up to stand on his chair. "Miles Kane, Miles Kane, Miles Kane," he chants.

"You're gonna break it."

"Miles Kane, Miles Kane, Miles- Ouch, shit-" 

Then a few things happen at once.

Miles Kane appears hanging in the doorway. Alex's foot slips and he sees stars. And Miles Kane standing over him.

"Are you okay?" Miles Kane asks.

"Peachy," Alex scowls, hauling himself up. "Why are you only around when I'm embarrassing myself?" 

Miles Kane looks taken aback. "Er. It's a public music room, and, um, I left my book, so."

Of - fucking - course. Miles Kane probably leaves his personal belongings in areas where Alex just might be so he has an excuse to walk in on him something particularly embarrassing.

Matt looks like he's going to either die laughing or just die. Alex glares at him. He holds his hands up in compliance, stands up, and leaves.

"Can you please get back to me when I'm not doing something embarrassing?" Alex groans.

"How about I do something embarrassing to even it out?" Miles queries.

"It would have to be really cringeworthy, then," Alex says.

"Fantastic." Miles then presses his lips to Alex's.

"Not embarrassing enough," Alex decides, breaking the kiss. 

"We'll just have to do it til we're caught, then," Miles grins.

"It's a plan," Alex grins back.

**Author's Note:**

> i didnt proofread that so dont come for me PLS


End file.
